Never Ending Story

[oompah]

escapism when dan dare or dennis the mennis would be more to the liking
of primitive earthlings,that is all in the past the future is.....

 

[imamartian]

...orange? .....

 

[oompah]

and lemons say the bells of st clements....

 

[imamartian]

... yes, that's true, Ray had been made a saint... quite unbelievable, most people think it should've been saint Shilton... but he did go off the rails a bit in his 70's and spend too much time...

 

[oompah]

looking in the mirror and attending to his barnet......

 

[imamartian]

.. now to Shilts, a barnet, wasn't a hairpice, it meant the bit of net, just beneath the bar where any Argentinian under 5'6" could score against a 6ft keeper... Now Shilts had a way of dealing with such feelings of inadequanciy....

 

[Space cat]

and it involved a bottle. But not a gin bottle. It was a bottle of Growmore! He also tried P*psi Max, T-max, Mad Max --- but none of them did any good. He had almost given up until, while he was searching the shelves of the local chemist to see if he'd overlooked anything, he heard somebody ask for a baby-grow

 

[oompah]

bag,now this concept as not been thought through how on earth is a baby elephant going to be raised in one of these......

 

[Space cat]

flimsy plastic things. But that is to misunderstand its function. You don't raise the elephant, only the bag. When you lift the bag by its corners, the feet burst out through the bottom. Now tie the corners together above the elephant's back and you're all set. Elephant grass will soon sprout from the specially seeded manure - which will never run out because, as fast as the elephant consumes the grass, it replenishes the manure. It's a completely self-contained system, ideal for the smaller elephant

 

[oompah]

eared shrew said to live in the old womans shoe which was a size 4 so it was most accomodating.......

 

[Space cat]

of the old woman to donate all her left shoes - which she didn't need because she only had one leg - to the Ball Pond End branch of the Society for the Preservation of Elephant Eared Shrews and Lesser Spotted Hedgehogs

 

[oompah]

flavoured crisp which never really caught on,because after scraping them off the roads the flavour was tainted by rubber and tar which would be better than tar and feathers.....

 

[Space cat]

but not nearly as good as rubber and feathers. It was hard to imagine an odder combination but there's no accounting for taste and so Jake Custard jumped over the side wearing full scuba gear and a feather boa

 

[Gasman28]

constrictor, which pulled Jack along at a rate of knots known only by the Dolphins and

 

[Space cat]

the crew of the Seaview which had been trapped in a time vortex at the bottom of the sea since 1968. It wasn't the feather boa that puzzled them. Living as they did in a monochrome world, they had no concept of colour