Model name would be helpful; e.g Selectric 15/50, Alpha 15/50 etc.
Automatic or manual (gate) valve?
Does the problem occur only when you have hot water ON by itself?
To answer your questions (and other people's)...
Pump is Grundfoss Selectric 15/50, originally set at 3, now set at three as lowering it made no perceivable difference to time taken to reach temp / rad performance / frequency of boiler firing but means the system runs much quieter.
Bypass is honeywell auto valve, have not adjusted this at all, but it's screwed most of the way down.
We haven't had the need to use the heating properly yet, but putting it on for an hour during hot water heating, with only 1 or two rads on, goes a long long way to stopping the cycling (I'd expect a little bit of cycling, that's just life once the system is reaching temperature I would have thought).
Yes, there is a valve on the hot water circuit that can be used to balance.
When boiler cuts out into anti-cycle, flow temp has usually reached 70, return at 60 (both give or take 1 or 2 degrees). After anti-cycle timer has expired and the boiler re-fires, flow and return have usually lowered to 55/53 respectively.