What have you bought today?

[Dangee]

.

 

[Brigadier]

 

[EddieM]

Some grade 5 ceramic balls!

 

[Mottie]

Did you wear your old balls out?

 

[EddieM]

Did you wear your old balls out?

No they weren't smooth enough

 

[Brigadier]

Did you wear your old balls out?

No : he kept them in his pants

 

[Mottie]

No : he kept them in his pants

Or on his nut bra. Oldie but a goodie.

 

[Mottie]

Not bought, but given!

My mate had his car nicked the other week, already been paid out but because of Covid he’s finding it hard to even look for another one. Anyway, I lent him my firms old runabout/training vehicle. Been standing for yonks so I charged the battery up and got a fresh MOT on it and off he went. He tried to pay for the mot but I wouldn’t have it. The next morning, the battery was dead and needed replacing (7 year old battery and it’s been sitting since March) so I came down and fitted a new one on it. He tried to pay me for that too but I told him not to be daft. Anyway, he asked me today whether I liked the hamper. I said what hamper? He'd sent me a hamper and when he looked at the delivery receipt, he'd had a brain fart and transposed my door numbers and it had been delivered, but to the wrong house last Saturday. They didn’t know who it was for so they still had it sitting in their hall in case anyone came for it. I've just been up and collected it. Of course, first thing Mrs Mottie did was tell me to put the cardboard box (that it was packed in), outside and wash my hands as it had been sitting in a strangers house for four days and could be ‘ covered with covid'. Women!

 

[mattylad]

An embroidery sowing machine for the wife.
A webcam for me... I feel stitched up lol

 

[Mottie]

A load of old tripe!

Yep, today I bought 5kg of dried tripe sticks for my dog. Stinks to high heaven but she loves it!

 

[durhamplumber]

Ive done all the easy recreationals not the hardcore heroin derivatives.

My first experience with Acid was a microdot which i laughed at the size of it. Wow, audible then visuals then the laughing uncontrollably. What a night but that was a small dose. An hour seemed like many, and i went through so many different states of uncontrollable laughter to introspectively disappearing up my own asshole.

I much preferred ecstacy. My first pill i think you'll find many will recount as memorable. In tune with the music and everyone around you nothing you would ever experience straight. The only problem was it made clubs boring without. A bit like removing the twin turbo meth v8 from your car and putting a standard diesel back in place. A good pill on a night out or in with good dance music knocks it out the park beyond anything ive ever experienced emotionally and physically.

Weed is still a good visit now and again it's all about a good balance. They've all contributed to who i am today and my achievements.

I have never smoked...or took dodgy drugs .Tried Cannabis once...Bloke told me to take it easy or i would have a ""whitey""..I enquired what that was...Persissted I would be fine...Polished off two joints...Had a whitey 5 minutes later!...Thought....F that...I will stick to John Smiths.

 

[festive]

I have never smoked...or took dodgy drugs .Tried Cannabis once...Bloke told me to take it easy or i would have a ""whitey""..I enquired what that was...Persissted I would be fine...Polished off two joints...Had a whitey 5 minutes later!...Thought....F that...I will stick to John Smiths.

Oh that made me laugh yes respect the limitations or the whitey will bite your ass.

I've been there a few times believe me and it is deeply unpleasant for a while.

 

[durhamplumber]

Oh that made me laugh yes respect the limitations or the whitey will bite your ass.

I've been there a few times believe me and it is deeply unpleasant for a while.

Indeed..I was in the back of a car at the time and had to puke into my shirt!!.

 

[Mottie]

I think Mrs Mottie who loves flowers has been royally had over. Signed up to freddiesflowers and the first delivery arrived today - at 5 ****ing 22 am! Noisy bastard even took a couple of flash photographs of the box on our doorstep. Now, it may be me being tight, but £25 for this? It seems to be mostly greenery to me. The 'USP' is that you assemble the bouquet yourself! I don't begrudge her spending on anything but I’m going to ask her to knock this weekly extravagance on the head. She can get a much better ready-made bouquet delivered from any of our local florists for £25 - and you don’t have to sign up for a weekly bouquet either!

 

[EddieM]

I think Mrs Mottie who loves flowers has been royally had over. Signed up to freddiesflowers and the first delivery arrived today - at 5 ****ing 22 am! Noisy bastard even took a couple of flash photographs of the box on our doorstep. Now, it may be me being tight, but £25 for this? It seems to be mostly greenery to me. The 'USP' is that you assemble the bouquet yourself! I don't begrudge her spending on anything but I’m going to ask her to knock this weekly extravagance on the head. She can get a much better ready-made bouquet delivered from any of our local florists for £25 - and you don’t have to sign up for a weekly bouquet either!

View attachment 211135

You've been had.