why do girls put up with men ?
cos they aint invented a vibrator that buys the beer on saturday night
cos they aint invented a vibrator that buys the beer on saturday night
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A Baptist minister was seated next to a Marine on a flight to Huntsville,
Alabama. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Marine asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed
before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he like a
drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Marine then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
Alabama. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Marine asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed
before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he like a
drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Marine then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
D
david and julie
10 out of 10 pipme. Fabulous.
3 blokes stood at the pearly gates
st peter asks the first one how did you die?
he replys i knew the wife was at it so came home early she was laying on the bed naked searched the flat couldnt find the b******d anywhere looked out of the kitchen window and saw him getting in to his car so i picked up the fridge and threw it out of the window the strain gave me a fatal coronry
2nd bloke
i was visiting my mother just came out and getting in car when some loon throws a fridge out of the window killing me
3rd bloke
i was sitting in this fridge minding my own buisness
st peter asks the first one how did you die?
he replys i knew the wife was at it so came home early she was laying on the bed naked searched the flat couldnt find the b******d anywhere looked out of the kitchen window and saw him getting in to his car so i picked up the fridge and threw it out of the window the strain gave me a fatal coronry
2nd bloke
i was visiting my mother just came out and getting in car when some loon throws a fridge out of the window killing me
3rd bloke
i was sitting in this fridge minding my own buisness
2
2scoops0406
My CU is in a shocking state.
That's surely the worst yet, 'cos it happens to be true as well
That's surely the worst yet, 'cos it happens to be true as well
2
2scoops0406
Guy walks into a butchers shop, butcher says to him, I bet you a fiver you can't reach up far enough to touch that beef hanging up there.
Guy looks at him and says I'm not prepared to take that wager....... The steaks are too high.
Guy looks at him and says I'm not prepared to take that wager....... The steaks are too high.
young indian chief sitting outside his tent
tribe come to him and ask whats the winter going to be like
cheif has no idea he wasnt told this so err on safe side he says cold collect plenty of wood
week later he has a brainwave phones met office
whats the winter going to be like he asks
cold very cold says the voice
goes back to village and says collect more wood
month later phones met office again
whats the winter going to be like he asks
extreemley cold comes the reply
goes back to village collect every scrap of wood you can find
week later phones met office again
whats the winter going to be like he asks
one of the coldest on record comes the reply
how do you know he asks
cos the indians are collecting wood like &*&^%%^&
tribe come to him and ask whats the winter going to be like
cheif has no idea he wasnt told this so err on safe side he says cold collect plenty of wood
week later he has a brainwave phones met office
whats the winter going to be like he asks
cold very cold says the voice
goes back to village and says collect more wood
month later phones met office again
whats the winter going to be like he asks
extreemley cold comes the reply
goes back to village collect every scrap of wood you can find
week later phones met office again
whats the winter going to be like he asks
one of the coldest on record comes the reply
how do you know he asks
cos the indians are collecting wood like &*&^%%^&
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided
to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends
encouraged me.
My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had
feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not
really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come
up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the
front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked
straight toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes
he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is ?:
Always keep your condoms in your car !!
to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends
encouraged me.
My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had
feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not
really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come
up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the
front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked
straight toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes
he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is ?:
Always keep your condoms in your car !!
- Joined
- 28 Nov 2003
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Kendor, Class mate, sheer class!
Thought it was serious right untill the punchline!
Thought it was serious right untill the punchline!
at least post a ga
ive never come this way before
as the nun said ridnng her bike down a cobbled street
ive never come this way before
as the nun said ridnng her bike down a cobbled street
- Joined
- 11 Jan 2004
- Messages
- 44,084
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- 2,923
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One I heard last night, but you have to say it - it doesn't work when written down.
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
Cos he kneaded a cr@p.
Another that has to be spoken is:
Did you hear about the architect who had his house maid backwards so he could watch TV?
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
Cos he kneaded a cr@p.
Another that has to be spoken is:
Did you hear about the architect who had his house maid backwards so he could watch TV?
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