Not really sure what to do (title change so as not to cause offence)

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Ryler said:
Also be grateful for your health and physical ability.
Dire straits is when you are in a wheel chair with a smashed ankle and foot, back broke in 9 places and hearing lost in one ear.
And the ear constantly buzzes.
After a tele-handler crushing accident 8 weeks ago.
That's my work colleagues brother.
Click to expand...

Ok I get the perspective. A wrong choice of words I guess. My bad. I hope I haven’t caused any offence.
 
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Dire. It sounds like your work environment is a lot of it. I’m a heating engineer/ plumber. I used to be petrified of delving into a boiler & it really doesn’t help getting hassled to hurry up. Now I love if at all possible, repairing things. Knowing how they work but that takes time. Take those opportunities when you can, like on private jobs, especially if it’s an empty house I’m the same regarding getting bored of the same thing so I just reinvent myself every few years. At some points I completely stop doing whole bathrooms for a couple of years. Sometimes I like just doing complete new installations but get fed up & then just do the little “in & out” jobs.
This job is SO varied. I still love it after 30 years. Do as many private jobs as you can. Be polite, tidy & honest & people will always come back to you so that you won’t have to rely on a company.
My problem is now the workload & it writ heavy on me. I rarely stay asleep until the alarm goes off. Sometimes I’m up from 4am organising things but I love this job. Who wants to be stuck in an office day after day. With us, every day is different. Things will change. Don’t worry.
 
16 years? So you must enjoy something about it surely? The same company or various? Perhaps wouldn’t give up just yet, as per Ryler (and you’re aware also) many more in different perhaps more difficult situations than yourself, that’s not to say I don’t know where you’re coming from. You mentioned these courses, get on them, embrace the help on them and maybe you can out it into practice.
 
Dire_Straits said:
Yes fine to ask. I was going through a very tough time at work, a bully senior manager who was devious as well, who also had others in his ‘click’ so upset one, upset all so to speak. HR also afraid to do anything at the time. However, once I’d been disciplined for reasons I’d rather not say (it would give certain things away) he was actually ok with me - weird behaviour. Things have changed now as he was sort of pushed out, a whole restructure of management. My line manager used to be one of my mentors as an apprentice and we’ve always got on ok, so that’s a big plus. It’s just all of these time restraints on jobs, mind numbing customers, lack of training in a lot of areas - which I’ve just been given the ok to go on, but with Covid, it’s a struggle to get on the right course.

I also struggle to understand things, and tend to read deep into things. I also lack in absorbing written information in books etc.
Click to expand...
Thanks for explaining. Glad that side of the work is better at least :). Can I say, that when you last felt like this, things ended up better - please hang onto that thought because there is no reason this won't happen again.

Not being able to absorb written info can also be a side-effect of depression. It's so hard to concentrate I find and for sure, things sink in better if feeling more upbeat and positive.

You sound to me that you're fed up and feeling stuck in a rut, which to be honest, is normal for us all but you've got the added 'bonus' of it coinciding with the way the country is at the moment, making it worse. Please remember though that this country/situation won't be like this forever nor will you feel this fed up. Courses for work will come back, they are just delayed and you'll get there in the end and start reaching your goals. Try not to think too much into the future at the moment because none of us can.

If you've any free time after work and a couple of kids (!), do something nice for yourself. Blast some loud music in the car, go for a good old walk in the autumn sun, chat to an old friend who will support you or just have a laugh with - anything that you like doing and you know normally lifts you.

ps - edited to add. Yes, while people say that you've your health etc and be grateful, that's fine. But you are also ok to feel down, even if you've your health! We all go through crud from time to time, being fit doesn't make the way you feel any less important.
 
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Dire_Straits said:
The trouble isn’t when faced with a boiler fault, unless it’s obvious, then it can be a head scratcher - which is fine, however I’ve been told not to spend too long on a job and if it can’t be fixed then usually new boiler time. Things like that don’t help :(.
Click to expand...

There is the problem '...not to spend too long'. As a matter of personal pride, self- esteem, feel good factor, will have a go at fixing absolutely everything. When I was working, I actively sought out companies which encouraged that attitude.
 
Ryler said:
Also be grateful for your health and physical ability.
Dire straits is when you are in a wheel chair with a smashed ankle and foot, back broke in 9 places and hearing lost in one ear.
And the ear constantly buzzes.
After a tele-handler crushing accident 8 weeks ago.
That's my work colleagues brother.
Click to expand...
I have CP and a whole host of chronic health conditions.
I am no longer able to work and am unable to drive due to eyesight issues.
I see other people, especially those who have CP, who are in a far worse position than I am and I genuinely feel lucky.
Yes, lucky. Things could be so much worse for me.
But mental illness, from personal experience, can be even more devastating.
The brain is a weird and wonderful thing and is capable of so much that is positive and constructive.
But equally it can be destructive.
Negative or bad thoughts can be very overpowering and become all-consuming and block any positivity.

Please go to your GP, not for medication (at least initially), but for a referral for counselling. Also ask about physical activities that can improve the mood. Exercise generally is good and can also help repair your poor sleeping pattern. Also, I'm not sure how you feel about this, but cold water swimming is apparently excellent for improving low mood.
GP's are generally very quick to prescribe pills. I went to mine complaining that taking 50+ meds a day was making me feel physically sick. His reaction? I can give you a pill for that......
 
well these posts have cheered me up

depression

blimey I have been depressed most of my life ;)
 
securespark said:
Have you been able to ask for help?
Click to expand...

who me ?

depression blimey what with

this chinese flu caper
ebola
Aids
Herpes
cancer
brexit
global warming
destruction of the planet
satarvation
wars
north korea
mad mullahs
Trump
johnson
fishing rights
slavery
BLM
BSE
etct ect

tis a wonder any one bothers to get out of bed in the morning
 
quite a lot of people do, sadly.

"The suicide rate for men in England and Wales in 2019 was the highest for two decades, official figures show.

Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), published on Tuesday, found there were 5,691 suicides registered, with an age-standardised rate of 11 deaths per 100,000 population.

The ONS said men accounted for about three-quarters of suicide deaths registered in 2019, 4,303 compared with 1,388 women."


https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/01/male-suicide-rate-england-wales-covid-19

Over your lifetime, you can reasonably expect to know several.
 
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