I am quite happy to lead op to identify his problem, you have to remember op does not seem familiar with the heating systems, somewhat like me as I am not a professional plumber, but I have gone over many installations so have acquired quite a lot of skills in this field, so to get to the bottom of this problem, what op will need to do is switch off all his system until it is cold, so all pipes are cold to touch, then he gets someone to put the Hot water (HW) on, then checks by touch each of the three pipes on his diverter valve, which of these 3 pipes starts to get hot first, he will have to be quick as the whole valve will become heated soon and he won't know through which pipe did the hot water enter first, so if I were him, i would hold the 3 pipes about a foot away from the diverter valve, so that I could feel the heat in any one of the 3 pipes first.
By logic, there will only be one pipe that will bring the hot water to the diverter valve so this will be the pipe that gets hot first.
So once he has determined which of the 3 pipes to his diveretr valve became hot or warm to touch, that is his flow pipe that should be connected to the divereter valve's middle port or the inlet port.
Then it is easy to determine the other two, since in one direction it should feed the HW cylinder and in the other direction it should lead to the CH Circuit.
So I hope you are happy with this now. And I am willing to visit if necessary FOC to help op if he lives near London.
By logic, there will only be one pipe that will bring the hot water to the diverter valve so this will be the pipe that gets hot first.
So once he has determined which of the 3 pipes to his diveretr valve became hot or warm to touch, that is his flow pipe that should be connected to the divereter valve's middle port or the inlet port.
Then it is easy to determine the other two, since in one direction it should feed the HW cylinder and in the other direction it should lead to the CH Circuit.
So I hope you are happy with this now. And I am willing to visit if necessary FOC to help op if he lives near London.